Stefan Bowers

Like most chefs over the last 15 years I’ve used social media as a tool to spike interest in my restaurants. My main strategy wasn’t to talk food or specials. It was to let the follower get inside my head.

Up until now, it’s mostly worked.

In person I’m nice. So why am I better at talking to you online than in person?

The problem has never been with you. It’s me.

Internally I’m a mess. Ready to jump out of my skin with anxiety while talking to you.

Social media allows me to take my clothes off with the lights on. Expressing myself in a way I never could in person.

I got addicted to this.

I was fortunate to have a business partner that didn’t censor me like most stereotypical restaurant owners feel pressured to do.

After all, it worked.

Engagement was almost immediate. Interest peaked in what I was passionate about. I was good at the back and forth. Even with strangers. It might be selfish, but it felt right.

This is how you learn the hard way.

Words can be a weapon for good or self-harm. I’ve made more mistakes with unbridled commentary than I care to remember. Compromising myself business-wise, even legally — and worst of all, impacting my family. I’ve gone too far many times. Mostly while under the influence, which is a different topic altogether.

Freely expressing yourself online is a ghostly high. Every cell piggybacking what you’ll say next — to followers and yourself.

Many have disappeared themselves with their own words.

I’ve had some big wins, and don’t think I’d be where I am today had I not offered this part of myself online. Though I often wonder where I’d be had I not said a thing.